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Best Tips To Make Up With Your Girlfriend After a Fight! How To Do This? Causes of Conflicts and Ways To Resolve Them

Photo by ANDI WHISKEY on Unsplash

Surely you had cases when you quarrel with your girlfriend. Unfortunately, there is no universal means for reconciliation and a general answer to the question “How to make peace with a girl after a fight?” Each situation is unique and requires an in-depth analysis of specific actions.

The ability to cope with female emotions is one of the most important things that any man must master for harmonious and happy relationships. The problem is that some situations a girl can take to heart, after which she herself does not make contact. That is, these situations need to be somehow resolved – it is desirable that both of you be happy in the end.

In this article I will talk about the best options for reconciliation, as well as about conflicts and how to resolve them.

Who’s guilty?

A typical situation: you have a quarrel, and instead of understanding why it happened, you start with mutual accusations. This is wrong, but much easier than comprehending each conflict and finding a solution for yourself. Right? Usually both are good, and they expect that the conflict will be resolved by itself or that the opposite side will apologize and admit guilt. But in the first case, resentment does not go anywhere, and in the second, it remains with one person. Both that and another leads to big troubles in the future. Problems need to be solved here and now.

And below I will tell you how

1. You are both to blame

Heavy argument

It is not always possible to avoid a quarrel, and speaking out is often useful. The important thing is what happens after: each of the participants in the conflict once again thinks and analyzes everything. And there is a key point. Usually both partners blame each other, and then, having calmed down, once again scroll through the situation, remaining with their subjective opinion. And as a result, they find even more evidence of their rightness and their opponent’s mistakes.

But the reality is that both are to blame. Even if this is a situation where one of the partners made an explicit mistake, the second is to blame for the fact that he, as a rule, reacts incorrectly, for example, screams. Therefore, you need to focus on yourself – exactly where you are wrong. And you don’t need to think: “Yeah, now I admit my mistake, but she will not do the same.” This is not necessary. You are the man here, and acknowledging your own wrong is a man’s deed. Do not hesitate, the woman will notice it. Just do not need to take all blame on yourself. Understand your real mistakes. Absolutely everyone is mistaken, but not everyone is ready to work on themselves.

Then it will be easier for you to defend your position, because if you are really wrong – after a while you will admit it.

2.The guy is wrong

You are guilty. Your position was wrong. Be a man – take full responsibility. Explain to her that you will try not to do this anymore. Be calm and confident: don’t raise your voice, don’t cry, don’t give up. Apologize once – looking in the eyes, calmly. But do not try to lose your dignity and not be rude.

This is much better than trying to “buy forgiveness.” Huge bouquets and gifts will not save the situation – may be just once. Then she will get tired of this appeasement, especially since this does not correct the situation, but on the contrary, it provokes a relapse. A pleasant surprise is good only when the conflict is settled and you both need good positive emotions.

3. The girl is wrong

Guilty

Girls are much trickier and more sophisticated than guys. In addition, they are more experienced in quarrels. Therefore, very often girls do not go to put up, even if they are to blame. They just wait and, as a rule, it works when the guy to come by himself. However, this exacerbates the situation: “Keep up doing so, next time I will come first again.” – says your behavior. Your task is not to do so.

But it’s not so simple. Perhaps she still does not understand that this is impossible with you. Then your next step – just don’t apologize. You should talk to her. But you need to do this as consistently as possible. So make sure before the beginning that completely calmed down and cooled down. But you didn’t come with your head bowed – remember this.

In order for her to understand your position, you must understand one more thing: the girl is guilty, does not want to admit it, does not go to put up and expects this from you. In my opinion, this is not fair. Surely you do not want such an attitude towards yourself. So explain it to her: “It seems that you think that I am guilty of our quarrel, which means you don’t understand your misconduct. Well, I want to explain what it is, and why it upset me, what I felt”.

You probably had time to think it over, so it’s easy for you to describe the situation. When she understands and confesses her guilt, say the main thing: “I’m glad that you admitted, and I’m not angry anymore. But there is a nuance. Your behavior, when you, being guilty, forced me to come to you, should not be repeated. Otherwise, we don’t have the common future”.

In general, you see that there are no situations in which both partners are divided in corners and, like children, do not go to put up. You are to blame – go to her. She is to blame – wait; if it doesn’t come, go to her and explain that she is wrong. Fair? Right? Like a man!

And one more thing: it is important to be flexible. If you have started a debriefing – discuss everything, talk about your feelings and grievances. Perhaps you missed something and did not take it into account when you analyzed the quarrel yourself.

Causes of conflicts and ways to resolve them

exchange of ideas

You were wrong and understand this.

Ideally, you need to be a gentleman, that is, to control yourself, and especially not raise your voice at a girl regardless of the situation. But if this happened, then you should sincerely admit your guilt and apologize to the girl. It is necessary to explain their motives, to express understanding that she was unpleasant, and calmly say “I’m sorry.” No need to humiliate or try to earn forgiveness. Your task is to sincerely apologize while maintaining your dignity.

The girl was offended by you, but you didn’t even understand this. Resentment of this kind is one of the means of controlling a weak-character man. That is, you are right in any situation, but she makes you guilty, without explaining the reasons. In this case, one should not apologize. There are three ways to get out of this situation:

1. Stop communication and your relations, but it is very radical.

This is objectively the best option, although the most difficult in terms of decision-making and volitional effort. Understand that if a girl tries to manipulate you, then she does not value you and does not respect you, which means she does not love you.

2. To decompose her manipulations and with the help of logical evidence to show its incorrectness.

This variant is the rarest, but if you good at command of persuasion and negotiation, and, preferably, logical thinking, or at least the basics social psychology, you can try to explain everything to her.

3. Do not talk to her until she pleads guilty.

Ignore, with full awareness of his own rightness, works less efficiently. Not every woman is ready to admit her wrong. However, if this does not help and she does not apologize, we return to the first point, where it is written in black and white that the girl is just manipulating you.

Evening meeting

There was a misunderstanding between you. In this case, you need to let both yourself and the girl cool down, because emotional conversation will only harm your relationship. Explain your vision of the situation calmly, and then suggest a solution that could satisfy both of you.

Quarrel caused by revenge. The situation is difficult, but it can be resolved with the help of a calm conversation. You need to explain to the girl that you were hurt by the fact that she did so. If her behavior has crossed the line of your understanding – drop her. Realize what is acceptable for you and what is not, because a woman behaves with you exactly the way you yourself allow her.

Now I will give you some general advice

  1. Instead of constantly saying “I’m sorry,” you need to work on yourself and change.
  2. During reconciliation, focus on the positive qualities of the girl.

Better a bad peace than a good quarrel – remember this. Do not waste your life on quarrels, because there are so many wonderful things in life!


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Patricia Walker

Written by Patricia Walker

For many, many years I tried to get married, but before the wedding it never came... Now I live with two cats and give tips to young girls, what men want, how to behave with them. This experience I received for 10 years and now I pass it on to you, my dear readers.

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