For most people, having sex problems in a relationship will mark the beginning of the end. It is difficult to pretend that everything is in order if something is wrong in intimate proximity. Indeed, for many, sex is the only manifestation of strong feelings. But what if sex is lost in a relationship? In this article you will find the answer to this question “How fast to get sex back into your relationship?“.
With confidence, one thing can be said: if you want to maintain the current relationship, and you know about problems in sex, you need to solve it. If you leave everything to chance by trying to wait out the bad times, then with a high degree of probability everything will end in parting.
In order to do something in this situation, you need to understand the reasons. But first, let’s figure out what actually happened. There are several options.
You both stopped wanting each other
I would advise contacting a specialist directly. Because, most likely, something is wrong in psychology. A good sexologist will help you deal with problems, eliminating embarrassment and mutual insults. In successful relationships, partners are frank, they know each other well and understand that each of them has a desire. At the very beginning, everything is quite simple – you are attracted to each other at a physiological level, that’s when the hormones calm down, cooling comes. As a result, after several years of relationship, most couples break up.
The fact is that we are so arranged by nature: it is absolutely normal for a person to find more and more new partners. This is characteristic of both boys and girls. You need something (or rather someone) new. It is generally accepted that the situation can be corrected with the help of diversity, but the problem is that there are not many options and they quickly end. Yes, you can go to a special store or have sex in an unusual place, but without the passion between partners (which in the second or third year of living together can already disappear), all this will quickly become commonplace too.
Many couples at such moments try more frank and exciting forms of sex: if most couples have oral sex, then very many men incline their girls to anal sex. It helps for a while – the forbidden quickly becomes commonplace. In addition, trying to force a partner to do what he does not want – even if he is hiding under good intentions such as saving a sexual life – you harm relations by changing the balance of significance.
What to do? How to get sex back into your relationship? Stop thinking about the little things: the treasured toy from the sex shop, a new pose or some other tricks will not fix anything globally. It is important that new ideas begin to be born on an ongoing basis and you both light up on the desire to experiment. The constant search for what you both like and frankness is the way to happy sex. And to understand all this just helps a professional sexologist. And get used to the idea that all this is absolutely normal.
The man stopped wanting his girlfriend
For some reason, it is generally accepted in society that a man simply cannot sleep with only one woman on an ongoing basis, so he needs to look for a new woman after a while. Any stereotype is harmful, even with some kind of real soil.
At the very beginning, you only do that you will find out how your passion works. You generally have little interest besides having sex with each other. Then you begin to live together and are constantly together. Without novelty, you can live for some time, but for a man it turns into pure mechanics, and itâ€™s just laziness to fulfill some duty other than work. And then you come up with a “brilliant idea” – just while watching porn. â€śWhat if we try the same?â€ť The girl agrees, fulfilling your whim – only to maintain relationships and sex. Time after time, she will do what you want, and what happens is what I mentioned above – the balance of significance begins to break. You begin to become impudent and completely cease to be interested, but what, exactly, does she want, what excites her. She turns into a sex doll – without initiative and thoughts. And if the balance of significance is strongly on your side, the girl generally ceases to excite you.
Vicious circle. The problem is also that such fantasies that come to mind while watching porn and are largely imposed by male stereotypes are extremely primitive and limited. Usually this is anal sex, on which everything ends – everything has already been tested. Here it is the end of diversity. But in fact, as a rule, you have not tried anything except three poses and two locations in your life.
What to do? What to do? It is necessary to conduct an open dialogue about everything that relates to emotions in sex and real fantasies. Not exactly how you would like her to be fucked, but about what could excite both of you. If you find a common theme, then just try to develop it – listening carefully to each other. The girlâ€™s desires should be given almost a key role. After all, in fact, nothing excites a man so much as the realization that you were able to excite your girlfriend.
Your girlfriend doesn’t want you
Stereotypes have a significant impact in this situation. The fact is that from an early age, girls absorb this idea: love and sex are things of the same order, they are always there. This is a strong belief. Therefore, the girl immediately loses interest in sex, as soon as she begins to doubt her love for a man or to rethink her in a new way. However, very often sex disappears due to the fact that it just became too boring. How to determine what happened?
If you have not been together for so long (up to two years), then the fading of sex speaks of fading and love. First of all, you need to look at the balance of significance – perhaps it has decreased in relation to you. There is a clear dependence: the worse the relationship, the worse with sex.
With a decrease in sexual activity in the later stages of the union (more than two years), the reasons may be different – ordinary boredom and monotony, relationships are not supported by youthful passion. Girls tend to lull their fantasies about diversity in sex. Most likely, she is afraid to look lecherous in your eyes. Over time, this problem, not finding a splash, becomes entrenched. A woman forbids herself to fantasize, scolds herself, closes herself and she begins to think that all this is because love passes. A girl can go so deep into her theories that she will believe that she needs another, and can verify this with the help of treason – especially if you have been together for a long time. If all this is in your relationship – it is time to think.
What to do? Everything is again decided by frankness and dialogue. Let her know that you feel the changes in her and take responsibility for it – as a general problem. Think about how interesting your sex is and what you could change. Ask her what exactly does not suit her.
Decrease in sexual activity in a couple over time – this is absolutely normal. By and large, marriage is not held back by sex; there are many more important things. If you managed to maintain the quality of intimacy even after five years of marriage (not to mention 10-15), then you are generally well done. It is much easier to live together and feel happy when you constantly make each other nice and you like the process itself. But if the amount of sex has decreased over time and the degree of passion has decreased – this is not a disaster. The main thing is to notice and take action in time. Contact a sexologist and start to discuss intimate life.
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