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How to Become a Confident Woman, Increase Self-esteem and Change Your Life for the Better

How to increase self-esteem and become self-confident woman? Everybody admires the fluttering gait, proudly raised head, chiseled posture, eyes radiating confidence and charisma. These qualities are inherent in women who were able to become self-confident and increase their self-esteem.

To become a successful person, to have many fans and friends, it is important to work on yourself, constantly strive for the best. And for this it is necessary to cultivate the qualities of absolute confidence and firm convictions.

What does self-esteem affect a woman’s life?

According to psychologists, problems with self-esteem can affect all areas of a woman’s life:

  • successes in the professional field;
  • communication with friends, colleagues and relatives;
  • well-being of family life;
  • physical and psychological health.

Statistics show that the fair sex is more prone to low self-esteem than men. It is interesting that almost every woman knows whether she has problems in this matter or not.



Psychological tests help determine exactly if a person has problems with self-esteem.

If it turns out that self-esteem is underestimated, then it is necessary to carry out work to improve the personality.

The test below will give an accurate determination of the level of self-attitude. You need to honestly answer all questions and immediately count the points. At the end of the test, all points are added up. The resulting figure will show what level the survey participant belongs to.

Test: Determining the level of self-esteem

Do you often think that it was not worth doing something or talking?

  1. Yes, often – 1 point;
  2. No, not often – 3 points.

When communicating with a witty and excellent conversationalist, you:

  1. Do everything to surpass him in wit – 5 points;
  2. Do not want to participate in such a competition, thereby showing the superiority of the interlocutor -1 point.

Which opinion is most suitable for you?

  1. No luck, to achieve anything, you can only hard work – 5 points;
  2. Success comes only by a happy coincidence – 1 point;
  3. In difficult situations, luck and perseverance will not help. Real help comes from a person who can console and encourage – 3 points.

What will you feel when you see your funny caricature?

  1. Laugh heartily, paying attention to a good resemblance – 3 points;
  2. You will be upset, but don’t give a look – 1 point;
  3. Start in response to joking with the interlocutor – 4 points.

Do you often do alone the work that several people should do?

  1. Yes – 1 point;
  2. No – 5 points;
  3. I do not know 3 points.

What perfumes will you choose as a gift to your friend?

  1. Those that you like – 5 points;
  2. Those that you do not like, but, in your opinion, a girlfriend will like – 3 points;
  3. Those who have recently seen in the commercial – 1 point.

Do you often imagine situations in which you behave as you would never behave in real life?

  1. Yes – 1 point;
  2. No – 5 points;
  3. I do not know 3 points.

Your young work colleague has achieved better results in the service than you. Will this upset you?

  1. Yes – 1 point;
  2. No – 5 points;
  3. Not really – 3 points.

Do you enjoy objecting to someone?

  1. Yes – 5 points;
  2. No – 1 point;
  3. I do not know – the point.

Close your eyes and try to imagine any of the colors. You submitted:

  1. Blue, blue, white – 1 point;
  2. Green, yellow – 3 points;
  3. Black, red – 5 points.

How to read test results

  1. If the total score is from 38 to 50, then your self-esteem is overrated. You are a confident and self-satisfied woman. Both in the circle of communication and in everyday life, you often emphasize your “I”, put personal opinion above others and try to dominate the interlocutors. Criticizing those around you is your usual business, but you don’t care what they think of you. “I do not like others, but I love myself.” The closer your number is to 50, the more this phrase will suit you. High self-esteem prevents you from accepting criticism.
  2. If the total score is from 24 to 37, then your self-esteem is adequate. You fully trust yourself, and your life is filled with self-consent. You can always find a way out of difficult situations. You are usually satisfied with yourself and the people around you. You can always be support for your loved ones and colleagues.
  3. If the total score is from 10 to 23, then your self-esteem is underestimated. You are not at all happy with yourself. Your intelligence, appearance, achievements, abilities, age and even gender provoke dissatisfaction and doubt in you. It is difficult for you to succeed at work and the opinions of others seriously affect your life.

Any woman, having understood that she belongs to the third group, must do everything to become self-confident. To increase self-esteem, it is necessary to understand the reasons that led to this.

Reasons for low self-esteem and ways to address them

There are many reasons that will lead to lower self-esteem. Among the most common are the following:

  • improper upbringing in childhood;
  • frequent failures in childhood;
  • there are no specific goals in life;
  • unhealthy surrounding society;
  • various diseases and appearance defects.

It is necessary to analyze each cause in more detail in order to find a way to eliminate it. Only getting rid of them, you can come to a result.

Inappropriate parenting

girl and skull

The bulk of psychological shortcomings originate in early childhood. Poor self-esteem is no exception. It leads to unnecessarily high demands of parents, reproaches, criticism, lack of affection and praise. If the child gets used to such an attitude, then in the future he will already behave as if he deserved it.

Frequent failures in childhood

If the parents do not support their child, in case of his failures, then the attitude towards themselves in their child will only worsen. Excessive requirements of the father and mother usually lead to the fact that the child begins to evaluate himself according to adult criteria. This leads to a loss of self-satisfaction and self-frustration.

A significant role in this matter is played by the attitude of peers, who tend to make outcasts from losers. This contributes to the loss of faith in one’s own strengths and negatively affects self-esteem.

Lack of goals in life

In the absence of clear and realistic goals, both a child and an adult can become a person with a negative attitude towards themselves. If a person ceases to set goals for himself, his life loses its color. These people usually do not want to pay attention to their appearance, do not want to change something, stop dreaming and as a result, the level of self-esteem decreases.

Unhealthy social environment

The social circle plays a significant role in the formation of self-esteem in both adults and children. A healthy attitude is formed where there is a good example to follow. But if there are uninitiated friends who constantly complain about life, criticize others and do not want to change anything in their lives, self-esteem will only worsen.

In such cases, it is necessary to radically change the circle of communication and get closer to people who strive for success, try to make their dreams come true, are able to overcome difficulties and constantly improve themselves.

Defects in appearance and health

In the case of defects in appearance and certain health problems, many children have poor self-esteem. Such a child usually feels unlike others. Often the situation is exacerbated by ruthless ridicule and bullying of peers.

In such cases, improving self-esteem will help eliminate these shortcomings. If this is not possible, it is necessary to develop in oneself qualities that will help to become self-confident, more developed and attractive to people around.

Methods to increase self-esteem and self-confidence

Girl in glassesl

Yes, a woman needs confidence that she deserves the best – self-esteem, love and respect of others, personal growth, life success. It is important to develop this confidence in yourself, and there are proven methods for this. Act!

Stop criticizing yourself

There are no perfect people, and you are no exception. But you can’t constantly criticize yourself for the shortcomings. Self-criticism is a useful quality, but within reasonable limits.

To overcome the negative attitude towards themselves, psychologists advise a detailed list of their merits and periodically re-read it. Stop criticizing yourself, learn to praise. A self-confident person is distinguished not by the absence of shortcomings, but by the ability not to pay attention to them.

Learn to accept praise

The ability to accept praise is an indispensable quality of a confident woman. Excessive modesty is just as harmful as its lack. A compliment received with dignity and gratitude is pleasant to both parties.

Jude Delaney

Written by Jude Delaney


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