Your relationship is over. You have been rejected, or the person you are meeting with has less feelings for you than you have for him. You no longer have a reason to dream of a common future. You will no longer be together. This is terrible. He continues to live in your thoughts. And the emptiness in your heart increases every day. You are in the midst of grief. How to get rid of it and start living an ordinary life?
Tip # 1: Accept the phases of heartache
Mental pain has several phases. To recover from heartache, it is important to know them and be able to recognize them. This will help you avoid relapse and no feel even worse. Of course, all you want to do is overcome this mental pain and maybe even start looking for a new love. Read carefully to find out all about these phases and to know them.
Phase 1: Awareness
The first phase is awareness. In fact, this â€śawarenessâ€ť refers more to denial. This is the first step you have to go through. You must realize that itâ€™s really all over between you. He or she will not change the mind. And there is a real reason for your separation.
Try to accept that your relationship has ended and you have become alone again. You probably find it strange that you are alone. That is why we have collected some tips to help you start living an ordinary life and notice big and small joys.
Your ex is no longer part of your life, and yes, you can live very well without him or her. You will suffer from this for the first time. And this is not surprising, because saying goodbye to someone is not easy. However, you have no choice. This is the first step to turn the page and heal from heartache. If you continue to deny that it is over, you put off the pain, but it does not go away. Sooner or later you will have to go through this. And itâ€™s better to do it quickly: it will allow you to take your life in your hands sooner.
Phase 2: Weaning
The second phase is weaning . When you realize that your ex will never return, you will experience a feeling of desolation. To understand this, you need to know how affliction works: when you are in love, some hormones and other substances are produced in the brain and cause a feeling of happiness.
Then we connect the person in love with this happiness. As soon as this person disappears, the body must literally unlearn these substances. This does not mean that you will never be happy again.
However, weaning off these substances is a difficult test. The best way is cruel weaning: stopping everything in one fell swoop. So donâ€™t try to find out what your ex is doing on Facebook, donâ€™t go past his / her house â€śaccidentallyâ€ť and erase WhatsApp correspondence. In addition, the best thing you can do is erase her number from your phone so that you donâ€™t I was tempted to contact her or him.
The third phase is anger. Perhaps the time will come when your grief will turn into anger. You will blame your ex for everything. This is very good: it will probably help you drive away the pain and feel less miserable. Accusing your ex of everything that was wrong in your relationship, even if you know that this is absurd, can bring you temporary relief.
There is nothing wrong with experiencing this anger as long as you realize that he is not justified. You obviously have all the rights to it, if it makes you feel better, but control yourself. Do not go to your ex to settle scores. Some people go so far as to ruin the business of their former partner. Do not be offended by your ex, most likely he or she will also suffer. Release your anger through sport or leisure, hit the pillow with all your mightâ€¦ find a way to let off steam.
Phase 4: Resignation
The fourth phase is resignation. You will understand that you can live without your ex. And loneliness even has its advantages. It’s nice to go to a bar without reporting to anyone! Or sleep across the bed! And only you decide that you will look at Netflix.
After a while, you will no longer think about your ex every time you do something that you and your ex did together. You will have no problem cooking this dish that your ex loved so much. The time will come, very little time will pass.
Tip # 2: Distraction
Fortunately, there are many ways to bring happiness back. Switch to a new hobby, go in for sports: Physical activity triggers the production of endorphins in the brain. In addition, adrenaline levels will decrease and you will feel less excited.
This is very important because mental pain sometimes leads to the same symptoms as depression: some substances are absent, while others are present in excess. Sport can be of great help in these circumstances. So put on your tracksuit, pull your boots out of the closet and move around! In addition, playing sports will improve your figure, which is quite profitable now that you are alone.
Or sleep with another person simply because the new partner will make you forget the former much faster. In addition, during sex, the body produces oxytocin and vasopressin, hormones that promote well-being. Thus, you will less and less associate a sense of happiness with your ex. Pain and grief will slowly but surely disappear.
Do not stay alone at home. Come out and spend the evening in the company of friends, because now you have time for this. And remember that you are not alone. You will see that many people understand your pain and are there to support you.
Tip # 3: Be patient
The moment our partner disappears or threatens to disappear from our lives, we quickly justified everything that irritated us in his or her. But your relationship ended not by chance; you know this very well. You have encountered problems that have not been resolved. Probably it’s better for you.
And although itâ€™s painful for a while, in the end, itâ€™s better for both. Perhaps this does not seem to you yet and you do not want to admit that everything was not as rosy as you imagine. Be patient: you will eventually realize that he or she was not created for you.
You probably want to recover as soon as possible from your heartache, and this is quite logical. But if you look around you will see that not everyone experiences heartache the same way. So be patient and give time. Overcoming mental pain is an individual process that must be endured.
Do not compare yourself with others. Each person has his own experience. Keep working on yourself. Sometimes it takes a lot of time. This is not funny, but it is a rule of the game. And you will come out of it stronger!
Tip # 4: Look to the Future
Try not to overdo it in phase # 3 (see Tip # 1). Over time, your pain will subside. No, your ex will not return, and no, you will not necessarily find a new partner in the near future. But it doesnâ€™t matter: being alone for some time will teach you a lot. And now you are completely free to do whatever you want.
You can talk to whoever you want, to sleep with whoever you want, and, most importantly, to look at Netflix all that you wanted!
It is often difficult to find yourself, especially after a long relationship. But healing from heartache is primarily a matter of time. However, you can speed up the process: you can have fun and usefully. Give yourself time to heal and return to a life in which you are not dependent on anyone else. You have the opportunity to spend time on yourself without reporting to anyone. Not so bad, right?