Of course, the situation is unpleasant, but you can survive it. So what to do if you quarreled with a guy? Most girls believe that the guy should be the first to go to reconciliation. In fact, this is far from the case. Firstly, it all depends on the situation. The guy is not always to blame for everything. If suddenly there was a quarrel, the first thing to do is to remove your pride. It often leads to a breakdown. Come home, sit down and think. Maybe you should not wait for the first step from your young man? Itâ€™s not always bad to take the initiative. There is a gorgeous statement that says: “The first to reconcile is not the one who is guilty, but the one who values relations”.
Put up or not put up?
On the one hand, of course, impossible right after the quarell to run to put up. Theyoung man can get used to the fact that you behave loyally and continue to behave in the same spirit. You will naturally have to show him that you have pride, and you will not let him wipe his feet on you. But that, again, depends on the guy. If you are confident in him and in his feelings, then reconciliation with your initiative will not lead to any bad consequences. If you look on the other hand, excessive pride will spoil everything. Your chosen one can take your pride for indifference: if she does not call and does not come, then she does not need me. So thinking about what to do if you quarreled with a guy, soberly assess your relationship with him.
Which of you loves more? Who is more confident in the partner? This should not be brought to in any case. Not overdo. You have to feel that moment when you need to gather and go to be reconciled. You can’t leave because of the stupidity and excess of pride. In the end, don’t forget that you care about this guy. You may even have the kindest feelings for him.
And in that case, if your love is mutual, then such a word as pride should not be discussed at all. Forget about it. Be able to find compromises. Solve all with conversation.
There are, of course, quarrels that can not be attributed to ordinary troubles. Unfortunately, there are conflicts of this kind, the decision in which is not entirely up to you.
If your boyfriend really hurt you, then you donâ€™t have to be the first to reconcile. Maybe he doesn’t need it at all. The main thing in such situations, to be sure that you are loved and appreciate, then you can think about how to make the first step. Otherwise, take your time. Try alone to understand and assess the situation.
6 tips on how to make up with a guy
Quarrels with a lover are an unpleasant thing, but they do happen. Conflict can be taken as an apocalypse. If you think that this is not the end, and there is something to fight, after quarreling with a young man, understand the situation and get ready to cooperate on your happiness.
- If, at the time of a quarrel, you feel that the conversation is governed by emotions, interrupt the condemnation of the issue and disperse in your corners. If you quarreled with a guy, explain to him that your relationship is dear to you, and as a result of this, you want to cool down and think calmly about what is happening.
- For a couple of days, mentally do not return to your quarrel, do not try to find the person to blame and prove the grievances that did not have time to shout in his face. Do your daily business and, if possible, work and hobbies.
- After some time, sit down at the table and write down on a piece of paper the reasons for your quarrel. Clear the whole skirmish of personal complaints and attempts to throw the blame on each other. Highlight only the root cause of the quarrel and other points at which your views diverge. At this stage, your best friend or psychologist will be able to help you – after listening to a retelling of events, your psychologist will separate the main thing from the unnecessary.
- After reviewing the list, try to understand who is right where and where not. It often happens that only one of the quarreling is absolutely right, and the second is simply a victim. It doesn’t matter if you managed to solve this problem, proceed to the next step.
- What to do next if you quarrel with a guy? Determine what you want to achieve in the future, which is your priority: to preserve relationships, force a person to apologize, to prove his innocence. Based on the goal, estimate what is possible to arrange for its achievement. Build on these conditions. Write down what actions you are ready to take, and in which matter your position is unshakable and fundamental. Then express your own requirements for the young man in writing – they should also help you achieve your goal.
- Meet the young man again. Tell him that you are trying to understand the situation together in order to overcome this difficulty. If you were hurt by his words or actions, tell him about it. Although complaining, talk about unworthy actions, not generalizing and not turning to the individual. In other words, you have the opportunity to claim that you are hurt by his carelessness. Although do not say that he is an insensitive blockhead who does not know how to love. We hope that our advice helped you answer the question: “What if I had a Quarrel with a guy.”
How to prevent a quarrel with a guy
Sometimes it bothers, does not want to hear and see anyone and nothing. The tormenting conversations, screams, tears, and everything else that accompanies the quarrel have already bored you? You will often learn to prevent quarrels. To do this, you should follow simple tips:
- Stop talking first. If you started an active dispute, but do not want to continue it, a good way out is simply to shut up. This will at first greatly annoy your interlocutor. And this quarrel will end.
- Get out. This, of course, looks very unethical, but still, there are times when we heat up. If you quarreled with a guy, leaving is not only avoiding a quarrel, your interlocutor can understand this as avoiding the problem itself. And you must understand this perfectly.
- Silence. As soon as ordinary negotiations turn into a quarrel, we advise you to leave this matter. You just let it go, but thanks to this, you save your strength and nerves.
- Compromise. If you do not want to swear, then a mutually beneficial offer will turn your conversation into a completely different direction, more constructive. But at the offers of compromise, leave the choice to your interlocutor, otherwise he will not calm down. After all, he would offer you a solution if he would like to.
- Sorry. Sometimes, in individual cases, girls apologize change their attitude towards everything and everyone at this moment. If you quarreled with a guy and apologize, once again remind you of your love (sincerely), then you can also win the argument.
- The best way to resolve the conflict is in a peaceful way. Explain that you have absolutely no desire to quarrel and scream. Let your opponent understand that he is behaving improperly. And soon you will see how a previously shouting person turned into a constructive politician.
Quarrels occur in each pair. Unfortunately, this is an integral part of a relationship. If you sincerely love your partner, you can forgive his forgetfulness or unintentional mistake. You need to decide which is more important: your pride or relationship? Take care of each other and your love!