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How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Start Dating Girls

You’re an interesting adult man, but your personal life leaves much to be desired? You have no experience of long-term serious relationship? Perhaps the whole point is that when communicating with girls you are subconsciously afraid of them. Fear, shyness and self-doubt are a fairly common problem, so it is advisable not to delay its solution. By the way, scientists have given this problem a special term – Sarmassophobia.

In youth, most guys feel fear of meeting a girl. And this is a completely understandable feeling. If a person is absolutely not afraid of anything, it is recommended to consult a psychiatrist, because this is a deviation from the norm. Fear is the main stimulus and source of self-preservation instinct. But you must be able to manage it, control your emotions, and not give in to them.

Causes and types of phobias

To cope with fear and uncertainty, you need to know their causes. As a rule, this feeling arises in the early years of life. In childhood, parents constantly patronize us, insist that we must be more careful. On the one hand, it’s good – this is how their care is manifested, but on the other – it’s bad, because the idea is formed in the children’s consciousness that there are many dangers in the surrounding world.

Another reason for the appearance of phobias in communication with girls is the instructions of the mother. Often mother tell sons that girls are predators and strive to use guys, so if you find it difficult to come up and talk with a beauty you like, think: “Why am I afraid? What prevents me from getting to know girl?” Recognizing and accepting that a problem exists is the first step towards it resolving.


You should know that men’s fears in relathionships with girls are different. Here are the most common options:

  1. I’m afraid to approach her. The first step is the hardest. But you need to understand that the fear of meeting a girl can deprive you of so much. You can sit in your bachelor flat, watch life and all its joys pass by. You must overcome your fear and start dating girls, otherwise you will not change yourself in any way.
  2. I’m afraid of failure. Another option is if you are not afraid to come up, but are afraid that you will be refused. Usually this occurs if there is already a negative experience. You must realize that every woman will not rush to your neck. You are a conqueror, a hunter, therefore, behave accordingly, seek consent, do not give up at the first refusal. Well, then – it wasn’t she who refused you (she doesn’t know you at all!), it’s just that she’s not yet ready to meet you.
  3. Fear of communication. Anyone will be scared when you need to start a conversation with a stranger. What can you talk about? Start with a simple, with the same banal weather. And then everything goes by itself.
  4. Pressure from others. Often we are scared by what people around will think when they see awkward attempts to get to know each other, all of a sudden they will laugh or release inappropriate comments. Forget the outsiders, their opinion is just their opinion.

The list of phobias and reasons why you feel fear in the process or before meeting a beautiful girl can go on and on. The main thing to remember is that your doubts and thoughts are only in your soul and head. Beauty does not suspect about them, so you need to stay as calm and confident as possible.

How to develop self-confidence

love kiss

Remember that fear always accompanies a person when he develops. You are afraid of the new and the unknown, and that’s good. One of the most effective ways to deal with this negative emotion is to do what causes your fear. You just have to grit your teeth, take courage and start chatting with girls. This mechanism, this action will allow you to feel better, feel relief.

If you can’t immediately come up and meet a woman in a cafe, fitness club or just on the street, then try a technique called “Emotional Flow”. All that needs to be done is to dress well and smile at the girls all day. But that is not all. Catching a female look, linger on it for 3 seconds, smile even wider, and look away. If the beauty responds with a smile to your “games with the eyes”, then you can safely come up and get to know her.

Realize that the fears of meeting a beautiful and interesting girl prevent you from living. As soon as you do this, start auto-training.

Repeat daily phrases in front of the mirror:

  • I am the best!
  • I am successful!
  • I am brave!
  • I can achieve what I want!
  • I will overcome my fears!

May be you have heard about body language. Use it! This will help you understand whether the girl wants to communicate with you, whether she likes you. This approach will eliminate rejections and embarrassing situations. There are a lot of signs that a woman is interested in you. If a lady smiles at you, looks right in the eye, straightens her hair, looks at you, tugs at parts of clothes, asks questions, tries to touch, these are clear signals that it is worth continuing communication. It is likely that it will grow into something more.

Components of success

Holding hands

Overcoming fear and building self-confidence is not all. There are some simple and affordable tips that will help you become a conqueror of women’s hearts. So, the important recommendations:

  1. Watch your appearance. Firstly, stylish modern clothes will help you feel more confident. Secondly, fashionable and neat guys attract more attention than untidy and in a wrinkled shirt. Do not forget to shave more often and buy an expensive perfume.
  2. Think of topics for conversation in advance. It must be something universal. Be sure of yourself! To expand your horizons, read more, watch educational videos, get acquainted with the classics of cinema and art. The more you know, the easier it will be to find common interests.
  3. Do not forget about a sense of humor. It is laughter that helps make communication easy. No need to tell funny cases one by one, but, if possible, try to make the girl laugh, cause her smile.
  4. Be sexy. Maybe you think that sexuality either has someone or does not have it – there is no third way? You’re wrong. It can be developed. Enhance your sex appeal. If you are sexy, then you can seduce any girl.

Now you know the basic secrets that allow you to conquer any girl, and you won’t tell yourself “I’m afraid or embarrassed to get acquainted with women”, because talking with girls will bring you pleasure, and your personal life will sparkle by new colors. It depends only on you whether you will be happy or not.

Couple smiling
Martin Lynch

Written by Martin Lynch

Hello friends! I am a blogger, I like to travel, chat with new people, learn history, try different dishes... And I also love surprises, I like to amaze friends. And, of course, my girlfriend. I write about everything that excites me. I would be glad if my experience will help you in solving any problems.

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