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Why Don’t I Have A Girlfriend? Why I Can’t Get A Girlfriend: Main Mistakes And How To Avoid Them

Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

There is no person who is more acutely aware of universal injustice than one who is self-confident and handsome and cannot find a girl. The questions “Why don’t I have a girlfriend?”, “Why am I without a girlfriend?”, “Why everyone has a girlfriend except me?”, “When will I have a girlfriend?” sound sharper and more painful. Do not be afraid of curses and karma: it is likely that the answer to the question and the way to solve the problem you will find just below on this page.

I’m so good, but I don’t have a girl. Why?

Believe me, you are not the first person to face this problem. And, most likely, not the last. Thousands of young people want to know why they, like you, do not have a girlfriend, and most of them manage to find the answer to their question.

First, try to be objective: will you be able to explain what is “good”? What is especially remarkable about you, what is your strength and peculiarity, why do you value yourself? Answers to these questions are very important for the next steps.

Often the problem of sheer calm in personal life is self-confidence. This is a kind of philosopher’s stone, which is capable of miracles, if you can handle it correctly. Two major mistakes: either self-confidence is not enough, or there is too much of it. For communication and seduction of girls, self-confidence should be in moderation.

I advice you to my read an article on how to become a seductive man.

Glasses guy

Think about why you are good. Is it easy for you to formulate the answer to this question? If so, you are very self-confident. You are just too wonderful for everyone else, but most likely, only in your own eyes. If it is difficult for you to answer this question right away, and you want to either think about it for half an hour, or turn to a list of positive qualities written out in advance, you will probably not have enough self-confidence.

The absence of a gold middle ground in this matter leads to the fact that guys can not find a girlfriend. Of course, besides self-confidence, there are other problems, and all of them come down to a mismatch between fantasy and reality. This prevents people not only in relationships and their search, but also in other areas of life.

If you feel bad becousethere is no woman in life and you fell yourself very lonely without a girlfriend, it means that your fantasies and ideas about the world are too far from reality. And to change the situation, it will have to be corrected.

it’s easy to understand that everything is just like that: you get to know each other in real life, communicate in different companies. You even know how to meet girls on the Internet, but you still can’t find a girl for yourself, moreover, for a long time – longer than three months or six months with an active social life.

I’m the main problem: How to find a reason in yourself

The main idea is you have an imbalance with reality. You will need to become more objective, and therefore you have to delve into habits and beliefs in order to find the very root of evil that prevents you from enjoying the relationship.

The tuxedo

The most effective way is to turn with this question to a psychologist: a specialist will help to figure it out quickly and not to miss anything. But you can solve the problem yourself – and I will help you.

First, check your self-confidence as described in the previous section: Do you have problems with self-esteem? If you know about your strengths and weaknesses, are not shy about either one, or do not regard yourself as a heroic person, your self-esteem is in order.

Now think about what you want from the girl: is appearance important, and if so, how much? Are you ready for the sake of perfect appearance to close your eyes to the flaws in character? Many men draw in their minds the image of a girl who, most likely, simply does not exist in reality. She should be at the same time:

  • and the hostess;
  • and naughty girl in the bedroom;
  • and careerist;
  • and a traveler who loves adventure.

At the same time, she is young, but incredibly smart, takes care of herself and does not need any help. Obviously, this is ideal. It is equally obvious that in reality she does not exist. It is worth determining what you are looking for in a girl first of all, and looking for girls of this type. Even if you imagine for even a second that such a dream girl exists, think: will she choose you? It seems that in her life everything is already so excellent. What can you offer her?

When thinking about which girl you need, do not forget about your strengths and weaknesses. It will be great if you manage to complement each other: she easily does what you don’t want to do, and you “cover” her weaknesses.

Girl and horse

For example, you are an introvert and rarely can force yourself to appear in large companies, and you feel comfortable. While she is a specialist in remote work and social relations, she has problems in the kitchen and cleaning, and you just love to cook and don’t have a painful dislike for cleaning. But don’t forget that there are so many ideas what you can to do together as a couple!

Important Tips

  • Track your social life: do you often appear where you can meet girls, and especially girls of your type? If so, does one manage to get to know each other, how long does the communication last? If it breaks off, then at what point? Detail all this when the traditional pattern of dating and developing relationships collapses. Dwell on the moment of acquaintance and try to notice what is happening at this time with you, and with the girl, and in your communication. So it will be possible to find a problem, that can be untwisted into a full-fledged picture. When you understand at what point and why something is going wrong – the problem can be solved.
  • Formulate an exact request. Look at your past relationships or the relationships of friends if you have never had a girlfriend. How do they live? What do you like about their interaction? Whose relationships would you like to focus on in your own? Notice, formulate – this way it will be possible to form realistic requests that are closest to you. Do not forget that everything formulated should be comfortable for you. Therefore, if you are an avid party-goer, about a cozy paradise, a couple of introverts who spend a lot of time alone and never quarrel, you can only dream of. At least for now. Such relationships simply will not suit you because of your character – you should not focus on them.

Do girls have an interest in you?

sexy woman

It’s very simple to know: by their reaction to you. If they never continue to communicate and smile as if they were embarrassed, or they immediately prescribed you in the friend zone – then sorry, but they don’t have an interest in you. If some of them communicate with you with sincere interest – you have a success. It’s just that at some point the woman discovers that you are not the one she is looking for, and at that moment her motivation to communicate disappears.

Look around you – most likely, you will not find among your friends those with whom women do not communicate at all. And this means that no matter how you “try”, you are not hopeless. More over you can become an interesting conversationalist.

It gets harder when the girls you like don’t pay attention to you. Suppose you have decided on the type you are looking for, with the basic qualities that a girl should possess, but they all do not find you as interesting and attractive as you think about yourself. Here, the desynchronization with reality happens again, but this time a little different. There is a chance that one of these girls will still see in you someone with whom she wants to be together, but you can wait for this chance for quite some time.

Take a closer look at who they meet. It is likely that their men will have common features – you should focus on them.

Try to develop these character traits on yourself: do you want to be the same man that was chosen by girls you like? If the answer is “no”, you will again have to change something in your own coordinate system and reconfigure the internal compass, which connects expectations and reality. There is no girl, but there is a need.

What to do to achieve goals?

I have already given two important tips: check self-confidence and the balance of requests and reality. This is the best you can do at the beginning. Perhaps at one of these stages the problem itself and the way to solve it will be revealed.

Nice girl

Some more useful tips that add up to a work plan of action:

  1. Understand what kind of person your are and who you want to be. Do you like who you are now? If not, do you know what, where and how to change? Doing something to achieve a goal?
  2. Think about what kind of girl you need. What main features should she have? Thrift? Intelligence and ambition? Love of adventure and romance?
  3. Estimate how you see your relationship: the girl you are looking for and the guy you are. And later – the guy you want to become. Does he need the girl you need now? And maybe you will interested in the question “How to be happy without a girlfriend?“. Who knows)
  4. Look at the couples around and look for role models among them. Using movies and literature is not forbidden, but make allowances for its difference from reality. Communicate in those places where maybe be girls who seem most attractive to you. Become what you want to become, value your own strengths and respect
  5. Ask girls what is important to them in men. Look at the guys who do not have a girl, and think about why this situation has developed. Perhaps in your behavior and views there is something in common.
  6. Analyze your relationships, try different ways of dating – in companies, on the street, on the Internet. Watch how your communication with the girl takes place, and at what point it breaks off.
  7. If you know how to think critically, ask the girls most open to dialogue why they stopped communicating. With a thoughtful approach, you will definitely get important information that can only be seen from the outside.
  8. Remember that you are a full-fledged person and without a girl. Life without a girlfriend should not stop you from developing, achieving your goals. Do not lay part of your worries on the shoulders of a potential girl – she doesn’t need it. Recognize that the relationship is not for the sake of it, who needs to solve some of your problems. They are valuable in their own right, and symbiosis is not the intrinsic value for which they are worth venturing.
  9. Expect the same attitude from the girl: she copes with life herself, but she just enjoys being with you. With this approach, the most healthy relationship is obtained. Otherwise, you run the risk of knowing all the pain of an addictive relationship full of neurosis, painful attachments, unfulfilled promises and commitments made from the air.
  10. Think about why you generally want a relationship. Which girls are right for you? Estimate which person is needed for this, and which person is able to interest. Work on this issue until all pieces of the puzzle fit into a single picture – and only then choose the best dating site and look for a girl.
  11. You are free to behave as you like: to satisfy the physical and emotional needs for short-term relationships, if it is convenient for you and the girl. The main thing is honesty. Sound your conditions in advance, and if she does not agree to them, it is better to look for someone else to avoid troubles and problems.

And in the process of searching for the causes of the situation, and in the process of finding a partner, and in any relationship, be honest. Before yourself and before others – only in this way can you really achieve what you want. Even if it takes more time and more victims in the form of bad relationships.

Major mistakes and how to avoid them

couple under an umbrella

You will find a girl later, but while you must wait for a brighter future.

When you will have a good job, a cool car, a big apartment and a lot of money, then you will find the girl of your dreams. But this is an erroneous theory. When you have a lot of money, any girl will be glad to be with you. But try to find the girl that will be with you in sorrow and joy.

Today you are lonely without a girlfriend, but when everything will good in your life, finding a girl will be easier. But more likely to run into a mercantile person. Money attracts a lot of gold diggers who disguise themselves as good girls. Such girls will spent your money and disappear at your first difficulties.

Do not give up personal life in order to achieve something. The girl will brighten up your loneliness with her female attention, affection, care and love. She will help achieve more.

You are not worthy of the girls you like

girl near the house

The beauties that you liked are inaccessible to your level. You consider them real princesses. You are afraid to approach them, start a conversation, and even more so invite them to a date. It’s a mistake because there are many cases when a girl fall in love with a man on a first date. You can try do the same.

As practice shows, pretty girls are eager to meet men. The thing is how you show yourself. If you are self-confident and well dressed, if you have good manners and you are polite then there will be no problems. The easiest way to deal with shyness is to get acquainted with beauties more often.

Try a pickup truck. Get to know 2-3 girls every day. It can be on the street, in transport, in a cafe or other place. The more often you come, the better. Your fear of meeting with beauties will disappear, your fear of failures will go away, experience will appear and confidence will come.

Also start playing sports, this will give confidence, good athletic form and energy.

All girls are not good enough

You consider yourself better than those girls who you meet on your way. All the girls are spoiled, mercantile, lecherous, stupid. This opinion has the right to be, but in most cases this is the reason for the wrong choice and place of search.

Many guys prefer to meet in clubs, bars and other places where there is a high content of frivolous women. Other men fall for bright, brilliant and affordable women who will not make them happy.

A good girl can ride the subway without makeup and is not provocatively dressed. Good girls are in no hurry to jump into bed, but look for real men, not lovelace.

Why don’t you have a girlfriend? There is always a reason for her absence. First of all, you should start by searching for the reasons and creating its approximate image. When you know who you’re looking for, it’s easier to find. A good and real girl will love you not for a wheelbarrow or a position, but for who you are.

Patricia Walker

Written by Patricia Walker

For many, many years I tried to get married, but before the wedding it never came... Now I live with two cats and give tips to young girls, what men want, how to behave with them. This experience I received for 10 years and now I pass it on to you, my dear readers.


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